i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
