I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
