the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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