somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
