girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
