Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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