Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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