so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
