My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
this will be a night to untag.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
