i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
