I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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