i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
