The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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