Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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