she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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