And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
When are your genitals available?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
