you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I need water and some morals
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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