when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
