she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize