1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
