I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
