So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
