hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
