Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
this is an emotional support booty call
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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