So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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