Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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