I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
