508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
