I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
