well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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