I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
