And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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