I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
