that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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