yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
