Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
