reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
