Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She bit a glass in half.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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