This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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