So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
