So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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