I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
