I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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