Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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