Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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