they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Fuck me I smell like cheese
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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