i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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