Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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