So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
