North Korea, Best Korea!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
