Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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