I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
