Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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