If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize