those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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