no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
More tranny stories later!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
