If i come over, it means nothing
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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