Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
