sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you still have your period?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
