and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Enjoy the penises
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
