Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
