Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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