i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
