We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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