Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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