I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Actions speak louder than pants.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
