You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
