capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
